Maria Khan, Karachi
Usually we all think that we have a lot of enemies but do you know who is your biggest foe? Remember that your first and greatest enemy is “Fear” and secondly, “Hopelessness”. You have no idea how these emotions can take you far away from your life and its beauty. Physiologically, each one of us is fearful of one thing or another but what make our situation different are our reasons. What will happen if they mess up with our pasts? What will happen if they get to know about the secrets we have kept hidden from this world? What will happen if they get to know about the tears we hide behind our smiles? All of these and other related statements are indications of a person who fears a lot. So now the question arises is that what is all this about? Getting distressed about your past is not okay. Do you have a lot of free time in your life which you are ready to spend crying over some displeasing event? No, not at all. All you need to do is change your negative thoughts. Try to accommodate with whatever you have in your life. Take out your internal fears and destroy them. Remember, no-one puts in a lot of time and effort in order to get an access to your thoughts that you are busy hiding from the world. If you’ll stop a specific special occasion of your life, you will never be able to gain or maintain a normal and fresh mentality. You need to remember that no unfortunate event of your life will be able to control you till you yourself don’t end up burdening yourself with your realities. In other words, you will never want to destroy your entire life over some unfortunate event. Now the question is that feelings are natural. Allah gave us a heart to feel and a mind to think as well so how can you say that we imprisoned ourselves with our thoughts? At last we are humans and not robots so let me give you the answer. Your first weakness is that you give too much importance to yourself. If we go through any displeasing event, the first thought that strikes us is that why did this happen to me? In order words we increase the ‘intensity’ of the event by thinking over it again and again. The foremost way to prevent this is to stop thinking about the event right away. Keep yourself away from all sorts of literature that can trigger you to think negatively about that event.
Secondly we should notice how we consider the events of our lives only from our own perspective and we should stop doing this immediately. Once you will start to look outside the world you have created for yourself, you will see the beauty of it that still remains. It is true that sadness and happiness are both naturally a part of our lives. However their ways to keep on changing. We choose to spend the moments of our happiness in planning about future which is a wrong idea. Although the moments of happiness in our lives are comparatively smaller than our pain and sadness but these little reasons to stay happy often overcome our pain if we allow it to do so. We should stop planning while we are happy and start living in the present moment that is gifted to us. We need to stop self-pitying. By thinking over the displeasing events of our lives over and over again, we do not achieve anything but we do invite our own death. What I mean by death here is the emotional death of a person which is followed by getting distant from this world and being hopeless.
One of the biggest reason why people are hopeless today includes failure in love and relationship. 80% of teenagers who will read this article would have gone through these feelings at some point in their lives. Media influenced us to think how love is something very great to achieve and that we should necessarily have something like this in our lives; at least once. Under such influence, we start looking for a partner everywhere. Once we feel a little good with the other person, we start considering it to be love and hence, we make it a lifelong pain for ourselves. Naturally the person who lacks control of him or herself will start to get restless and would yearn to learn about the person he/she just started to feel good about.
This is one of the reasons why love marriage fail because this is love but simply forced attraction which we think can be achieved by having a relationship with a specific person. We get so distracted by the actions of that loved one that we start to develop the whole idea of our life around that person only. We forget about other realities that exist behind that one person. In other words you gave so much power and intensity to that specific emotions that it disturbed the entire balance of your life. You start thinking that your death will act as an evidence of how you were right all along and you will be able to punish them for their wrong doings. But you are wrong. People do not have so much time to think about you and the underlying reasons for why you took your own life.
Time acts as a great healer which heals deepest scars. People often forget their own parents and themselves in the race of life so who do you think you will be to them? Why do you think they will be willing to put in so much time for you to heal? When a person dies he takes away everything that belonged to him, his body, his name and his identity. With time, you would be long forgotten like many other people who have passed away. The summary of this is that you yourself have to take yourself out the hopeless and depressed world that you have created for yourself. There is no-one else who will come and save you. You have to do it for yourself; live for yourself. Once you find beauty and happiness in the little things of life and make it sufficient for yourself, you yourself will feel the difference.
I have broken the miser: Readers, I have my own personal tips, which I am writing for the benefits of the creation of Allah and also I am also breaking miser for Ubqari. If any person has blisters, hair tear then that person continuously use mustard oil from the start, no need of any medicine. This tip is very easy and useful. (Ubaidur Rehman, Peshawar)
No one has deferral to harm: Daily recite one tasbeeh یا قابض after abulation, by this act any enemy, jealous person does not deferral to harm.